Tag Archives: simplicity

my first, my last and my everything. You.

Many moons have passed since she and I were in the same room together. And in many ways it seems like we were in each others presence for a day, even a blink of an eye. There was a strange crippling hue of blue about us that was so tranquil, so extraordinary. We indulged in it, of course. Nothing base. As if that blink of an eye was like a reward for a job well done. What job that was, I have no idea. But I had to go back to work back on earth. Dragged by my wings, wings she had given me as a gift. A gift I enjoyed for a day. A bit like Michael. But I have as much chance ay being the incarnate of Michael as she being a man.

Since then we’ve become different people. I’m an actor of sorts so I’ve been many people. Many more at least. I fear not being the same charming fella she once knew and that’s the sort if thing that happens in a descent. Then again, I myself, don’t fear what she’d have become because her soul is probably the same as it’s always been. Bright as fuck. I don’t feel as bright I was. As though I’d spent too long as an officer deep undercover to the point he’d forgotten he was an officer. Maybe I’d even empathized with the enemy. But then again true justice is a blind matter, so I digress.

I can’t wait to see her again. Though, field advantages are against us. I don’t want to live on the hope. I had always found that to be a terrible way to live. On hope. Same belief as with having faith. Both can only get one so far, but the remainder of the trip belongs to the individual. They take it or leave it.

There are so many things I need to change in the world, but that’s what happens when someone else has a head start. I’m sure they don’t mean any harm when they started, but take a look around. Everyone wants and desires something for themselves. Themselves only, though unfriendly. If I had had that head start no one would have a want or desire for themselves. Instead, it’d be like a constant courting. For everyone. Believe in ourselves than to ask for imaginable favors from a higher power. Call me crazy, but if we all believe in ourselves to be that higher power, we wouldn’t have a need for the unimaginable. Sound nuts? Probably. But who are you?
It’s already hard enough to battle ideologies with you’re birth parents who believe hard work is the secret to life. Like ants believe. I don’t have pincers. I feel they’d come in handy for the headpins of bet cans and the like but I just don’t see it happening.

I just want to go back to 0. 0. Where it all began. Because the wing things happen when the wrong people have the power. But with 0, I get to see her again in all her splendor. And so can she of mine. Maybe the secret if life is to get back to 0. You can fit the infinite into a circle if the circle is infinite in and about itself.

But what do I know? I’m just some dude thinking of someone he met once.

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a picture is one thing, but picture a picture of a picture

“You’re having one of those days again, aren’t you?” He said to the check-out girl as she broodily scanned the three bottles of wine. She looks up to see the man in his pajamas then the clock on the register, registering the fact that the pacific time zone stated it was still ante meridiem. “Ditto. I’m trying to fight this thing off, what about you?” She said as seraphically as she could.

Sadness before noon is no way to start a day. Some brood, some drink, telltale signs of the infinite abyss being easier to fall into, than to fall upward into the eternal light of blah blah blah. The catch is that it’s contagious, and there are only a handful of people in the world with the immunological prose that can stand or even reverse it. Those few are the real treasures, even angels-on-earth, but they’re better known as friends, or bff’s. Even if most of us are underachievers, we can all afford to try a bit harder.

The man returned that afternoon with a mixed CD to give to the check-out girl. She smiled as if the sun peaked out briefly on a cloudy day, restoring hope on planet earth, even momentarily. Little did she know, the man did not make the CD, in fact it was a gift given to him by another person in hopes of achieving the same gift he just received. The point being, that gesture meant something to someone. The little things in life could end up being the biggest things in death.

There’s no better way to come off uninteresting than by stating you’re interested in everything.

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