Tag Archives: sex scandals

Extra! Who let that dog out!



Up and coming indie film sensation Monet Tango, 2, caught red handed in yet another lewd sex scandal with the above released photos with the young one and a half hit wonder, Happy Feet. Feet, pictures above is seen face down and presumably crying with Tango standing over his body with a look of severe indifference on his face.

Monet, whose recent projects such as True Growl, Run Dawg Run and Trans : Dog of the Moon has won his way into the hearts of many young pups that were getting a little more than annoyed with Hollywood’s doggybag of talentless big name canine actors, preferring the more refined and natural characters of young Tango. However, the humble actors antics fails not to capture tabloid headlines since his winning the Oscar for best supporting actor in Schindler’s Leash, starring opposite Stoney the dog of Dude, Where’s my Car fame. Along with his Grammy nomination for his side project anti-folk/hip-pup band, The Werewoofs with the album Kibbles & Bitches, the rising star has no choice but to remain in the limelight.


When asked about the released photos, Tango refused to comment and instead waged his tails as his owner/press agent ushered us off the star’s 40 square foot lawn shouting, ‘he’s just trying to take a dump right now, he’s had a long walk and is feeling a bit walk-lagged right now. Twitter is showing mixed trend reviews about the situation with some tweeters saying quote,’Monet is such a bitch’, those being corrected with ‘he’s a boy, so calling him that’ and others, assumed to be newly converted fans saying ‘Dats my dawg!! F*ck dat bitch doggy!’ Those being politically corrected as well.

To find out more about the cause of these mixed responses of privacy infringing photos, we took a poll. It seems a majority of the people weren’t intrigued simply by the fact that Happy Feet was of another species like we had thought here nor was it the fact that it was the fact that both stars were male, which we thought next. It was because there was speculation about whether our not Feet was of the legal age for sexual intercourse. Though there was also an aftershock of speculation as to how penguin years are calculated, most fans have all relied on wikipedia to answer that despite the penguin wiki page showing signs of being tampered with by anybody, all sheer to remembering Feet’s birth on camera, which may have been a stunt double. When asked about the scandal Feet’s press manager had this to say;

‘Monappy [Monet and Happy] have been seeing each other for quite some time. They met at the red ,carpet opening of Happy Feet 2. They started talking when Monet made a joke about to Happy about his being lucky they didn’t title her sequel as Happier Feet. As for the pictures, I want to clarify that Happy was not, I repeat, was not face down and crying. You tabloid have no soul.’

Well, if or caring meant we were soulless, then I suppose we’re a bunch of soulless tabloids with nothing better to do.

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