Monthly Archives: April 2018

squial

certainty in my next moments guided by, let’s say acquainted, yokers egging me on with just enough encouragement to warrant my inattentive interest in vociferating my disinterest in their actual throttling of my reaction time. as i murderously pause and beat on as this wing. beautiful, he said once to justify a horror that had befell him, though it should be noted at that time he was overcome with this state of wellness and internal gratitude for silliness and not survival exactly, but having to have endured a such and resulting at that declarative moment of import also taking him yet another step further with ‘something happened, didn’t it? of course it did.’

another pilot, and half my words ripped from me last time. and then i withered in near all my branches, and could only be present, drooling those attempts like a flickering torchlight into the night. having to wake up tomorrow, became a phrase that meant on those special nights where i’m absolutely dependable to be absolutely of no help, tremble and thoughts tear through comfort and consolation, and the floor sinks along with my pessimism stapled with my rationalization of timely logistical possibilities. where i jeer now at myself i do with knuckles in commemoration to the courtesies of like kind have indeed underlined nice, gentle, funny, responsive, dependable, have left me defenseless in a place i’m unfamiliar with. my strengths. my steeling of inner charisma, and self-awareness pocked by layers of makeshift joy mutated and set loose back upon me.

i’ll imagine i’m still talking as me. conscience is irrelevent, there is a limit, as i used to joke about, but growth is noticed, and i remember those. I spent all my time losing everything one at a time. even actual goodbyes were just a balloon until the departures grew like weeds and i don’t even noticed who specfically is missing. clung on with poetic poos of cheerleading progress, but the poetry, the relative process of rationalization, and justified merely by ‘something happened, didn’t it? of course it did.’

[that was a nice little vent, of course this little stunt has stunted the confidence spike we had in you and are immediately taking precautions as a staple with our usual cautions. ran outta fumes, i think. it’s like i’ve given into the darkness and it somehow counts as an opening. this is cold.

like we’re all holding hands and really trying to accomplish getting this here situation to. like a button. the rage calm, intent reflective, introspective.

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when women start asking guys out.

turn his triumphant skills and trades honed
from years spent in the tibetan alps
under biting frost skies and hot days
where the sun just says, “yeah i know, what am gonna do? go over there?”
a short pause for show.
and some dickhead just wasted time talking
to some imaginary thing.
and old enemy of mine
from a hate i didn’t know of
bullshit hit’s me like a carved arrow
from days i joked about, “how are you.”
i know, it’s mean to pretend shit that didn’t happen
but i say the same thing all the time
for penance. I got better at tricking others to fill in for me
enemy enemy, i am jealous enemies have someone thinking
of them. friends friends, hope you’re all fucked well
alas the longest punchline hit the dick into cumming
at will or anything, “please no, i’m shy…”
at least 4 or 5 inflections incorrectly follow me,
just to punk the things i used to care to help.
when i pretend the things i used to do free when i was hanging
i snap my neck and jerk like, the heavens say, “are you fucking still at it?!”
a special kind of stupid, hardens red hot, and then walks away like
whaaaaaat? is that red? am i pissed? no, i’m just melting my bolts of understanding

no pat on the back comes to how long you imagined yourself sitting there
with this invisible air of accomplishment and grace and mercy and furry goodness
waiting to be inhaled and planted in a legally binding lock of fictional gasp of comedic lore. but that’s just a long way to say, “oh who fucking cares, hurredly.” said victims throwing themselves in front of a… wrath? i guess, to inspire, “remember who you are!!” to pop up in your mind as a decoy. i must do battle with the same shit and watch the whole of noeffingway, he still giving a shit. that shits, turning.

 

 

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