i got until 9 am to sort this world out. it’s just my kind of crazy to attempt sober. i’m not. i’m actually new hear from another realm i guess, and just watched people try. i had one role model that taught me i’m made from my work. i’m feeling quite nervous writing this because it feels familiar and new. work hard, as pitless as it seems and don’t apologize for what you do. that’s what i saw. then i watched porn and gave feminism a look. i remember mentioning before a kindness is magnetic. but this world is fight for yourself. i remember being told repeatedly to give up but pretended like it pushed me on. and trying hard not to hate someone secretly was hard to do. honesty is a key but requires less gravity that we attribute to it. i’m always with this feeling of never belonging anywhere here, and feel inadequate to accomplish anything. but there’s just watching, and then there’s studying. i’ve been amazed, that a couple of times i’m allowed to remember, at the different ways people surprise you. they inspire in other ways not noticeable so fast. patience is important in life when you are waiting. but that’s this whole thing that hurts the connection this place has. this earth. i know it sounds crazy, read past work, but i’m here, unapologizingly going to imitate genius and do it while having been honest as what you want. i don’t have long, i never do, and forget why. do the how part first. where to start? that’s the big one. you have people that believe in you but still believe seeing is believing. feelings are taboo in a world we’re so busy not looking at. i looked at a map for the first time and was amazed at how different it looks from my mind. i just imagined something. i’m gonna lose this bet i conjurred one way or another but this is something you don’t want to miss. because i take care when i speak, as a kindness for you to prey on. just this once. but remember who you are. and how.

i took a shorcut but saw the price afterwards. i did things no one cared about for a goal i’d never had. sure it’s dangerous but time is imminent now. you’ll know when when \.


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