with a comical twitch in the eye

i’m afraid to tell others about the truth of reality in the world because i wanna keep the knowledge and treasures all to myself. yeah, i’m a brat like that, but i’m tired of walking around with a halo and nothing to show for it. here are my antlers or horns or whatevers. i kept to myself as a kid, and growing up i let it out, and now that i’m give or take 217 years old, i think i got it the first time around. one of the longest second guesses i’ve had boomerang back to me.

i’m kidding… i was wondering if i could still kid. it’s not like riding a bike. i don’t know how to be positive. i don’t know how to uplift spirits and give you encouragement to live life as gracefully as you do everyday. you all scare me a little and your life is crafting courage out of scratch. but you do it every day. one day at a time. because living everyday like your last is a piece of advice that should come with child warning labels. you can easily misinterpret it and screw up what it means to seize the day. seize it like a gift for yourself, not seize it like it’s trying to take off with your loot. misinterpretation man, it can cut you from all sides if you don’t have everything bolted down upstairs. i don’t know how to be positive, it’s like it was electroshock-therapied outta me. trying to be goodly literally churned my stomach once. i think it’s because it feels like i’m lying. so there’s that to suck on.

i don’t understand why making sense outta the chaos we face today by treating it with more insanity makes sense. trying to treat impending doom with logic and understanding is a hard hand to win with, but try it if you like. lessons don’t really stick until you get tired of repeating what you did. while patience is to be admired, you see how things sound good one way but come out different. this post is making me uncomfortable and so i will stop here. give yourself some props for having lasted this long. you may not defy the 1% but you defied some odds all the same. chin chin.



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