hues

i don’t know what love is. it’s many things. it’s the great question. not knowing what it is, and with its many ramifications i freely jump into it. my innocent little dilemma is i fall in love at first sight. all the time. i spent a long time trying to deny or ignore my feelings and understanding of what love could be only to have it slingshot back at me with greater force. and because i treat and feel the way i do, i’m under the hypnotic notion that love is never returned. such a lonely life that is. to be the embodiment of a dark deep ocean, pretending to hide the creatures and demons from the people and things i love. but they are really only creatures and demons in name, for lack of better words. i attribute them a darker hue because we are fearful of the unknown. the things that dwell and boil deep within me scare even me. not because it is by nature scary, but because i’m a big chicken. it could even be unbridled passion waiting to have the lid popped open for a breath of air. it could be insurmountable joy i’m hiding. it could be the most beautiful sentence i could ever write. and it could be the devil itself. celebrate your courage in being one with who you really are. this is the time for it when we all are so weathered by images of what we’re supposed to be. it might just be that the last bit of our real selves buoyant and radiating of our true essence lurks just beneath the surface of the lake.

 

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