pandora’s box.


i could not define love if my soul depended on it. love ain’t like what they show you on the silver screen. true love hurts. not later, simultaneously. it’s like a molten hot arrow that shoots the chain over your heart. admit it, some of you’ve been heartbroken and erected gates. the type of love you’re thinking of is more of a fondness you’re addicted to. Not a feeling, but a knowing-whatever’s in between. those of us lucky to grow up in a loving home makes falling into real love a tad easier. but it’s not like that love of family where you walk through the door and say, “hi mom! how are you?” then have a normal conversation and leave with, “gotta go, i love you!”

I’ve only said I love you to both my mother and father 3 maybe 4 times my whole life. just once for my father because i knew i was never going to see him again. and my brother, i’ve never said it to him, but he knows i do, plus i don’t wanna look like a nerd. (he’s already more badass than I am. the thing is, with true love, saying it isn’t necessary. it’s felt, known, an inherent knowledge. you can never be forced to love someone, you just do. even after breakups or long absences, you will always love someone. especially if it was a nasty departure. imagine 10 years later, maybe more, and you run into the person- you’re speechless because you remember you’re supposed to hate this person but can’t remember why. i’ve loved so many people in my life, despite never saying it. of course i found some of those people annoying, but i made sure they knew. no hatred necessary.

if absence makes the heart grow fonder, then absence kills hate overtime. patience is the key.

HOWEVER, I can’t stress this enough…
emotions have nothing to do with love. that’s that trick.

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