Monthly Archives: July 2016

Mother’s Day is Everyday

Sometimes, I want to rip the heads off the ignorant, rip the limbs off the cruel, drink their blood, dance on their corpses etc. But I don’t because I remember how beautiful, and kind, and graceful my mother was. And if I had danced on the corpses of my fallen enemies, she would’ve stopped me just to tell me to be more humble about it.

When I see her in Hel, (it isn’t as scary as you think, it’s just where my family is from, can’t pick your family, etc,) She’d rip my head off, my limbs, have my blood seep through sprinklers on our front lawn for eternity, etcetera etcetera.

So you’re alive.

I’m beautiful, kind, graceful and humble because my mommy is scarier than I could ever be. I am a simple amalgamation of what the world around me is. Confused on how to feel about these words? Well, my dad’s the writer, and he never said a word. He’s the more vicious of the two, but this isn’t about his glory and shit. Think of your mother.

My mother comes to check on me every year in the spring and on, in the flowers. The inimitable flowers. Unless it’s in the form of cakes. Cakes are the best. Best at being the best, cakes. Her bloom keeps me from dancing on the lifeless bodies of your beloved. Smile for the cameras.

My mother’s power lies in her ability to make you stop and think about your actions. The tiny words you speak. Sometimes, I forget who’s scarier of the two. I haven’t even mentioned my brothers’ dreadful and sisters’ terror. I love you so I believe in your gods. For your sake, I love you.

In the end, you absolutely do not want to see Me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

born in the rockies

Madness. I want to show you my madness, my god do I want to show you my madness. You treat us like we’ve been shot in the head, give us pills to silence. From fear. From fear you panic and treat in a manner that silences the unknown. Am I diseased? Am I contagious? You don’t know. You believe the secular way is the only way. As much as you believe in science, you believe in nothing more. That… THAT inhibits you.

Science is a method of deduction, not a religion or a belief. A belief is something that cannot be questioned. Speculated upon, not questioned. A belief is bullet-proof. Who are you to say otherwise?  For anyone. Towards anyone. Against anyone. I don’t know. And I know, as an absolute fact, you don’t know. If I had known then what I knew now. If I had known then what I know now. Of course, prevalence lies not with that statement, as I know for a fact, you’ve said it to yourselves before, -it lies with the fact it’s true. What is truth? It is a constant evolution. An example, you want? Ok. “if I’d known what I know now, is the only question our feeble human history can never stop asking itself. Try it. I’m going to have a cigarette while you try to prove me wrong. My cigarette takes 7 minutes, but you’ll have given up no more than 25 seconds in.

My god, do I want to show you my madness. If you think a little bit, you’ll see I’m not mad. But they gave me pills. They told me to stop listening to them. To be like everyone else. To shut up and do. To drink at bars. To smoke weed and pretend nobody knows. To join the chorus line. So evil, them voices. If you ask for courage, do you believe it’ll be given to you? Nah. Too easy. If it were me, I’d give you a situation to show me you have courage. It’ll be tough. Arduous. All the like. And in the end, you’ll laugh about it because you had no idea it was in you all along. You’ll start seeing things differently, the same things, but differently. Anything you want, was in you all along. But they shut you up. My god, do I want to show you my madness.

Know that I know what I know, I know that I could never show you. This is something you must learn yourself. You think yourself so mute that you’re invisible. But when help comes, in all shapes, sizes and forms you’re too suspicious and think yourself into oblivion. Sounds cool and dark, right? Well, that’s where that stays. The warmth and the light, let’s just say ya gotta learn how to start a fire. You have no idea how much I want to show you my madness.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

we created devils in our image

Show me someone that’s trying to make it in this world and tell me they’re not fighting a war. Half of us dance with depression and that’s just the half that knows they are. You’d have to be purposely blind if your heart doesn’t ache just a bit at the state of our world. We’re fighting different battles in the same war for the same goal. The hungry and homeless are on the frontlines, getting slaughtered by invisible enemies. They’re invisible because we gave them that power. When these brothers and sisters die from silly things like hunger and cold and we only bat our eyes, we’ve done worse than pull the trigger, we’ve left the bodies of our siblings in the field for buzzards.

These new-agers preach of unity, peace and respect and it’s noble. But less than half eat their sermons. The rest truly want this unity, I believe that, but in this age of increasing spinelessness and praisemonging, they are just a new class of soldiers awaiting orders.

And if you don’t believe the fight for unity, peace and respect isn’t a war, then prepare to live for nothing, while the last of us are prepared to brave this world and die for everything.

I don’t believe the hippies are right, not yet. They sing about the end of the war that just ain’t here yet. You have to be a fighter to become a lover, not one or the other. Lose sight of that and you’re plain blind, lazy and self-entitled. Love is heavier than they say. Love is light only if you carry it with a heavy heart. Otherwise, you’re just an asshole carrying a flag. Don’t be an asshole.

Call me crazy if you want, but I had to lose my mind to hear these words in my head.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

women

my woman will be bilingual. probably spanish. she will speak in spanish when she is angry. or happy. can tell by her eyes though. got a strong tie to latin based languages. her eyes will translate emotions she feels. screams aggression until she is tired. and affection until she is tired. but we’ll cease speaking when she speaks, because must know what the fuck she needs. that is not magic trick, is survival mech. woman, will usher legacy. woman, will be the speakable half of us, without speaking a word. she will be everything, and we’re only men. feminism shouldn’t be about equality, that’s simply stupid. it’s about understanding, yes both sides, where we stand. and it’s next to one another.
 
dgaf bout that mess in politics, not mine to clean up. #cleanupafteryourfuckingselfyoustupidgit

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

850 voltz

i’ll admit i have schizophrenia, and our friends treat us with care and love and acceptance… like we’ve been shot in the face and survived. it’s kinda nice at first, but then we really take advantage of it. admit we also have massive depression that accompanies the misunderstanding of such, and we get nurtured and tolerated, too. and then we realize how we’re all connected by a community of love. that it DOES take a village and that… oh shit… he’s outta 1st person. catchin’ on. quick, log outta his facebo… *giggles and cackles in the distance* and i wake up disoriented. i have to apologize for things I’ve said. Sometimes I have to apologize for things I’ve done. I have to convince you all that I’m a good person despite all my words and actions. and you have NO idea… NO idea how taxing that is on someone. on Anyone. So next time you laugh at a someone talking to themselves, understand that they are not alone, but surround by people just as real as you and you and you. however, only this person can communicate with them.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

straight as an arrow

if there really were an all loving god, he or she would love like a dog. unequivocally, unconditionally and absolutely. the best friend’s love. you could be the greatest jerk ever, the dog will still love you. your god will still love you.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

magnets

In this day and age I think the easiest thing to do, and I do mean easier than simply being lazy, is to self sabotage. Like we’ve come so far along that we yearn for human connection and to diminish an overbearing sense of alienation we’ve invented social media, only to discover nothing social about it. Then when something honestly good comes along, we want to prove it wrong because we don’t think it’s real. But the truth is, we react the way we do to happiness because we don’t believe we deserve it. If there was ever a dark side to any force, this was it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized