Monthly Archives: September 2011

petals grace your face

time glides to the end of the street,
licensed to the echoes of the feet.
left and right are the ways you’d find
but it looks like you’re leaving me behind

slow it from that pace
her petals grace past your face
of the things you might find
maybe that you’ve left me behind

chance can come and can be lost
wins can be had but at too high a cost
the future is what you’re gonna find
if you must leave me behind

wind swept dancing trees
raindrops will return to the sea
the babes eyes will open
to find you’ve already left me behind

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licentious liberteens

When two people argue about beliefs it resembles two monkeys arguing over a banana. Who ever screeches loudest wins the banana. In better terms, fighting over whether a 24-pack of Bud Light can get you more trashed than a 24-pack of Coors Light. They are unaware their passion does not make them extraordinary. The reality is, no one in their circle is, let alone can they define what an extraordinary person is like. They’re probably convinced they are the extraordinary one.

Man was subject to becoming stereotypes in the past, but have now been faced with having to become something other than being a stereotype. Then there are those complacent with a life of low expectations; those being the survivors. Their children will survive. The determined and the wishful have no idea how bleak the future has become, a future propelled by contentment and simplicity. Hopes and dreams extinguished by hopes and dreams.

The youth of our Aquarian dance chooses where he or she can apply themselves and, at the very least, are sensible enough to know their place. We all employ our escapism tactics in order to help it go down smooth. Be it: booze, marijuana, aderal, cocaine, your garden-variety eviction notice stipulations. It matters little which medium is chosen, (promiscuity and elitism can be tossed in this muck salad) it’s their need for escapism that is the clue.

We’re born into a world where, even, the educated don’t have many options for survival. Who you know and how many friends you have in your social network, is seemingly more important that your qualifications or your major. (I’ve been hired for my friend count as it proposed more targets to promote towards on multiple occasions, and have been fired for publicly mocking them on that same network.) Romantic hopes and fluttery dreams just aren’t going to cut it. Every specialist would be out of a job if everyone was already a specialist.

You pair the grimness of our world to come with our inability to moderate our escapes and that gives you, the half divorced seniors, the freedom you fought for on our behalf, the Aquarians. And you bet your sweet ass when we say we won’t exactly fancy fighting for freedom for our kids like mama and papa did. We’ll just worry about it when it happens.

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Filed under non-fiction rambling

beer or beef

image

Money or taking it easy, that’s what we have dictating our lives in place of a bible, the all-time best seller. I’ve heard that line [taking it easy] so many times, only to find swine chime it mentally and never knew what it meant, like the bluff at the poker table. Just fold cause you’ve lost.  The coarse and the fine are friends who never pick up the tab in your one act life, and they never forget their lines. The “take it easy” proverb is as empty as the pitcher.

Money comes with the constitution of your work, in most cases, and depend on it. Perseverance in this fish-eat-fish world (never seen a dog eat another dog) through labor and, since extreme measures of population control have not been [officially] devised, most of us with warm blood in our veins, will hitherto, labor amongst shit jobs. Those who aren’t subjected to that kind of life experience don’t understand the majesty of eat in a 1$ carne asada taco after 3 days of rationed saltines, or worse, tell you they do with the utmost conviction in their eye. As far as I’m concerned, the shit-job title only regards some kind of septic disposal. But that’s me being idealistic.

I’ve cleaned the vomit off the floor around the toilet seat at work after last call and winning a sympathy pint, I’ve fed the homeless while filling my ‘s homeless people served quota, published on both sides of the Atlantic, and as a high schooler slept with the most beautiful sophomore I’d ever seen, very tender and statutory. If this job sustains your life our keeps you going, this by default, is a part of you, from capitalized letter to the period. “Take it easy? Google and CNN says you’re a fucken’ liar.”

Take it easy is easy enough to taunt to the working class, but I’m two weeks late on my car payment for a car that I need to get a new battery for, my physiology mid-term that’ll decide if I can transfer into that university I don’t want to go to is in a few hours, the future of Afghanistan, and gas went up 3 cents! I’ll tell you what I’ll take; a refill on my prescription that’ll cost me a car battery.

Yeah, I’m just spitting out words, I’m really just too much of a spineless coward to, well, have any convictions pertaining to anything of substance. I mean, I like my steak rare, neither my beer nor cigarettes to be light, and the gallop of a horse. But I’ll never vote left or right, nor try to convince you. But you think my vote will cost your liberties. My vote will take your easy from you. It won’t, humanity will never take it easy as long as there’s someone standing to your left or your right. Rid one, and another always comes, standing where you once were.

I’ll take it easy by lying down, even if I’m the only one, but even I know I’ll have to get up to take a shit if I wanna go back to lying down. You’ll join me sooner our later, so why bust my balls now and look stupid later?

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Filed under fiction metaphor, rhetoric

funny old buddy

Ever since I was 8 years old I
had a friend that
has stayed my friend
the longest
and
still
is
I met him at a family friend’s pool
my father
tried to teach me how to
swim
a mexican beer in his left hand he
thew me into the
deep end and said
“now swim, chubby!”
I took the swimming lesson
seriously
with my
arms
legs
flailing
maniacally

then I gave up and
sank to the bottom at
eight
years
old
looking up and seeing the
bright red unyielding shimmer of
mexican beer

I met my friend
down there
and he was nice
he said hello and asked me to walk
out of the pool and
I did
I still don’t know how to
swim

I met him again when I was
16
It was the first time I ever slapped
a girl
my first
girl
I don’t know why I did it
I was angry at
her

when my father was angry he
slapped my mother
I watched and only thought about wanting to
slap
them both

my girl’s screeching and
clawing
reminded me of
them so I
sliced the air between
her face and my
hand
with an open
palm

I found myself that night
leaning frontward toward a wall of
stucco
my body heavy with
guilt
then I flung my head
into the wall of
stucco
as my friend watched
then he walked over to me
looked down at me
and said

“not this time either, but
nice try though.”

the next time I saw him
I was 21
my first and only
love
spent the night
with
a D.J.
it was too dreary to get across the continent
to hit him in his
chiseled
handsome
fucking
face
with a
bat
instead I skipped that step and onto the
next
on the edge of a parking structure
I looked at the tiny heads of
all the people that would be
disappointed if
I splattered
bits of me on their clothes
before their lunchbreak
was over

my friend stared off the edge with me
and said,

“are you sure you’re okay
with being
overcharged?
lets just get a beer”

we did
and I saw him multiple times
after that
for
the same reason
the same
girl
though my friend and I did
bond

my friend has spent
every night
with me these past two weeks
he met with my boss at work
first
but took him
immediately
they paid him the big bucks for his
efficiency
but that also meant
when my friend took my boss
that I no longer had a boss
my ride was bitter and not
sweet
any longer
and had to write
my
first
resume
in 6 years
fuck.

but this time
my friend came with a menu of
different
delicious
options
knife, pills, ledges over freeways, moving vehicles

I toyed with all the ideas
but
I have to pay my
half of the rent
first
but I shouldn’t care
anyway
my roommates often
let me feel
unappreciated
but I try
anyway with a meandering sense of
hope
and tonight
my friend and I walked through a
lightning storm which usually
terrifies me
but
being struck by one
tonight
would have felt
satisfactory
when I stepped through the door of the apartment
back from the storm
something strange
happened
my roommate
Katherine
hugged me and said

“thank you so much for cleaning the
bathroom!
it looks as white as
heaven.”

I wanted to tell her
how
lucky
she was
to catch me there
as a flash of light
flashed
right outside the door
instead
I smirked with the
thunderclap
and went upstairs with
my friend

my friend only hangs out with me
when
no one else
does
he hangs out with me
when
no one else
can
my friend is hanging out out with me
right
now

I don’t think he realizes
that I don’t
really
plan
on ever really
going with him
I just happen to think
he’s a
really
good
friend

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Filed under poetry

epoch fail

My generation so
lost
vibrant, ecclectic
and inane
is humanity’s
last
hurrah

there’s never anything on
t.v.

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Filed under poetry

if only Diderot

I walk down a busy metropolitan street
it’s night and the lights from the shops
are burning on
the night
showing the people the
bars
clubs
restaurants
clothing stores
closed stores
the lights show everyone’s faces
not their real faces but
the faces they want us
to see
to believe

the light lights the night but not as bright
as the sun would
You can’t tell if that man’s suit
is black
or
dark blue
You can’t tell if the woman walking
toward you from 15 feet is
22 or
32 or
42 etc.
the faded women hide their
years
under the part-time bulbs
because they feel
rushed
in
life
and the men realize they are not
ten years younger
twenty years too
late

I see it all the time and say to myself
I
will
soon
be
joining their ranks

why do they do this?
for friends?
for fun?
for love?

if love can be everlasting
hypothetically
can you find it in those
already in
disguise?

the women I’ve gone with
were terrible lovers
terrible companions
terrible fucks
but I don’t go with women
as often as
you
but
I’ve gone with all the women you’ve gone with
I did that as soon as
you
started
bitching
about her
women, this concerns you and your
men too

I
hear it all
see it all
feel it all
all the time

I don’t have to complain about all the
bad dates I’ve gone
on
simply because
you’ve gone
on
all the bad dates
for me

those who believe they’ve found
their soulmate
just haven’t lived long enough to
find a better one

Diderot says,

“oh snap!”

and gives me a
high-five

Of course I believe true love is
possible
but that is a belief that is always
under
fire
but if history has taught us one thing
which
has
never
not applied
it was this,

“if only…”

I continue walking down the half-heartedly lit
street
past all the
bars
clubs
restaurants
clothing stores
closed stores
the lights on everyone’s faces
the faces they want us
to see
to believe

and sullenly wish upon a lightbulb

that all of it could
fool me.

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Filed under poetry

easy friends

there’s a man
staring
at me from across
the bar
I think
he thinks
he likes me

Most often
do

I’m pretending to write
something important
so he doesn’t
come over
he
came over
and read what I just wrote
he left
I peeled the rest of the
label
off
my
beer

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