What a night it’s been. I never would’ve imagined making copies at 3 in the morning at the neighborhood Kinko’s. It was my first day on the job and it’s hard to keep up with what’s going on. But I knew this job wasn’t going to be easy, I just never imagined it would be this tough. I’d never collated papers let alone make 300 copies and how much time it took. And it doesn’t look like the clerks want to show me how to work it either. No problem, I’ll figure it out as I go along right?
Let’s see, black and white saves me 75% the cost, but the color doesn’t. Now does that mean I can’t use this specific color machine? Fuck. Okay, stick with the black and white. Now it wants a credit card. To check if I’m eligible to print this lovely copy of black and white? 300 times over? I’m doing cash anyway. Buy a cash card! I can’t believe how lazy and inconsiderate the clerks are. Do they even know what I’m going through? Probably not, I should cool it. Alright, 10 cents a copy, this should cost me 3 dollars right? Will they tax me? Alright, now print! …It took 10 seconds for one page to print, I’ll be here a lifetime waiting.
Standing there watching the copies eject, I remembered a dream I had once in my younger days. Like last year or something. I was in the desert humming a tune and imagining lyrics about a bird flying across the desert sky. I sang about how the sky never really meets the ground in life. I was the ground and the sky was just this omnipresent entity, yet both seemed important. Then the bird landed on top of a black pyramid. It pecked at the top 11 times and blinked 13 times. I had no idea why it did this but it seemed important to the bird. I was hiking up the black pyramid to meet this bird and I noticed at the bottom of the pyramid was my old friend from college, Dean Moriarty, cheering me on, along with his girlfriend Marylou. I didn’t know why they were in my dream, but as I hiked up, I saw my two friends from Nebraska, Ed Dunkel and his new wife Galatea Dunkel, cheering me on wearing Corn Husker T-shirts and matching red caps. It was nice of them to make a cameo. When I finally got to the top, I woke up. And what’s weirder, was that I woke up happy.
“Excuse me sir. Sir!” yelled the clerk into my ear. I looked at him and yawned. “You were snoring. …While standing up.” “Oh thanks, long day.” I guess I dozed off while standing over the copies. They were done. I felt a sense of accomplishment because now, I’m allowed to go home. Who needs a glass of wine and some good ol’ American Jazz? Maybe even some dirtcheap beer.