Over the years, fighting became a condition that afflicted us as opposed to an exception. Of course, things like that don’t happen overnight, but overtime. Just like a natural disaster; high winds, low temperatures, birds fleeing, dogs barking – warning signs. It used to be that no matter what fights we had, no matter how loud out shout-o-meters got, as long as our feet found each other under the covers, you’d know that you were okay, that the weather was just windy and we overreacted. But we never suspected they were symptoms of another disaster that was ready to rumble.
You’re oblivious to the fact that you’re spending every waking hour with each other, and especially not noticing you’re making less and less eye contact. Eye contact psychologically helps a person feel they’re peering into another’s soul, a sense of connection. but as time goes on, you even start going to bed together facing forward. Maybe at a television, or a laptop, or even a book by Kierkegaard. But you stop facing each other when going to bed because you secretly believe that if you looked at each other, you’d notice there was nothing there. You’d have to schedule an appointment for affection.
When you start trying to justify what happened, you start to truly believe that love is something you were allowed to just fall in and out of. Highs and lows. The lows just get lower and the highs don’t peak like they used to.
How did it get there? Time. However, through that thick aggravating haze, you’re blinded to the fact that you both went through it together. You don’t talk much anymore but that’s because you can literally read each others minds and become stubborn when the other doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He’ll remember to schedule an appointment with the plumber while she remembers to pick up the dry-cleaning. She wakes up grumpy in the mornings, and he knows she does so he compensates. He leaves the new roll of toilet paper on top of the finished cardboard one, but she knows it only takes two seconds to change it; she huffs, he puffs. But you were both responsible for getting to where you both are, grew old and boring together, but you took that journey together. That, in the end was a greater trip than a weekend in Venice, a drunken night out on the town, or even a season pass to Cartoonland. That was a trip you took as an us.