How to Maximize Pleasures of Chocolate Consumption



Everytime I reach back into the m&m’s bag, I keep grabbing the same color. The color of it wasn’t what annoyed me, it was the same sweet nugget of fudge. the one I kept putting back into the bag, marked with an “H” I carved with my fingernail.

Everytime I try to grab onto another, that same nugget seems to find it’s tiny self snug in my hands. Maybe this was the piece I was supposed to have, and if I ate it, my agitation of pillaging that same one out of the bag would cease. I’d never worry about that piece again.

In the end, it was just another m&m’s piece, just like all the other ones in the bag. Now thinking about it, why did I go insane over this ominous little fucker anyway, it wasn’t even that good. It pumped me up with all these hopes and dreams and empty promises only to mimic any other m&m’s pieces with 100% accuracy. Its got a little scarlet Red 40 in it but it tastes just like the one with Yellow 20, or God forbid, the Blue 50. Weren’t there studies that said one of these dyes were potentially cancerous for the human body? How would they scientifically study that? Do they collect 5 different guinea pigs and say, “chug some colors, bitch,” only a bit more professionally courteous? m&m’s, your melting in my mouth makes me believe in God, but you’d just as soon melt in anyone else’s hand first anyway. Its all your colors, everyone wants a piece and they’ll pick their own color, but I would’ve picked you simply because I craved that cholatey inside, cancer and all.

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