This is really happening. Have you ever tried to disconnect? Just go offline and off the radar for a few moments, even a few months will inevitably become a few moments in your life. So much can change in a few moments, but not a single bit isn’t considered growth.
Sure there was a point where I felt like nothing could advance, progress was unfeasible, but that’s essentially a symptom of grief. Psychological symptoms aren’t easily identified,especially not by ourselves. We gab ourselves into disbelief because we’ve all been conditioned to believe, positive reinforcement is advantageous and negativity gets you nowhere. But without negativity, (if done correctly) learning from your mistakes proves difficult.
Allow yourself that overdue period of grief, is what I learned, and learn firsthand how sick self-loathing can become. Complaints and self-loathing are similar in the sense that both service no one except make it more unpleasant for those around you. And in moments like those, it’s the ones who care that surround you. We never seem to realize we hurt the ones we love most.
In one of my earlier blogs, I made an incorrect judgement in what phase of grief I was in, while contradicting that with the actual blog. I didn’t mentally brace myself and allowed the repercussions to flank me from all sides, completely obliterating any mental cognizance I had left. However, this did allow me to learn how to enjoy the smell of roses, by leaving me no other option than to, “go back to basics.” And when it comes down to it, basics are more than necessary to enjoy life. As humans, we just love to coerce, then complicate, then implicate.