Patient #3: Son of Sam and Science

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I drink. I drink because reality bites and it does bite hard. If I don’t drink, I can write essays on cynicism and probably feel that way too. Not probably. I don’t think I have a problem though, because I drink in order to feel like everyone, even you. I embrace my past and all it’s elegant dysfunctions and face/deal with realities of the world through cynicism. I don’t fabricate dreamy nonsensical interludes exercising veiled theories on sex as an artform or excuses documenting my contributions to mass social suicide, and the downfall of good moral values. I mean, what is a good moral value anyway that wasn’t suggested by some fellow who felt he had a righteous duty. What is the right thing to do, everytime, if not everyone agrees? Is it art?

Art thrived in the sixties and seventies and were created by a select few who had minds ahead of their time. They led a revolution in human thought. Those who followed didn’t mimic them as their art was meant to open new doors in the human mind. Now people could walk through them. Those people went on to give birth to our generation. Yet, in his decade, fART schools are overflowing with art students whose goal is to reopen the already unlocked doors foolishly thinking it’s refreshing act. This isn’t a nation of art if everyone is an artist, it defeats the purpose. The designer of my Ikea catalog is an artist, and so is the lady who makes my nonfat white mochas in the mornings. Art has become convoluted and has undergone degeneration in this generation. Every other person is a photograher with a extra set of lenses for their penises and the other half are music and film students fringing on the recreation of digital Led Zeppelin and indie Federico Fellini movies with more Indie creds. This only proves my point in how we humans love to destroy. I’ll tell the world what I know. You can steal it if you want because you’re a deluded imbecile.

I’m not saying art should be abolished, Im saying we should at least make an effort to think of something new, or go to trade school. Since this is going to be the generation responsible for the end of the world, I’ve decided to become an artist myself. My art isn’t fancy naked pictures with theoretically clever lighting or movies where the guy doesn’t get the girl in the end, or songs that say how love is like a poker game with a nice wardrobe. My art is, you guessed it, cynicism. With a minor in skepticism. What’s that you say? How can cynicism be an art? That hole in your artistic argument states clearly that cynicism CAN be an art as art supposedly has no boundaries. Art is always ahead of its time after all, and, well cynicism and Campbell’s tomato soup cans have been around for a while, but no ones really loathed the world correctly. If you’ve noticed, “ftw,’ has gotten tons of commercial praise and its only going to make my market more marketable. Every time you say “ftw,” I win a point and and pint. Yes I’m mocking art, but I also believe mockery has yet to become a field of art in itself. Warhol made his career with mockery actually…

What about the hopefuls who believe humanity will thrive and we’ll save oursleves in the nick of time? Got some news for you, we are the most hopeless generation to date because we all want to be creators or leaders and are prepared to create or lead without builders or followers. What the hell were we creating or leading again? What is there to preserve in humanity if we gave up our humanity fifty years ago? Peace is unattainable as long as humans exist. It became clear when you stopped saying “sir,” and “ma’am.” We didn’t give the elders credit. My theory on cynicism as an artform follows all the symptoms and patterns of art, and I expect to have disagreements. So did all the previous artists before me. Why would I help you if you refused to help me. I’m a man of God, but even I know when he’s having a laugh. I may be a flubbing bastard, but at least I’m not a mindless daft and delusional art-drone. It all breaks down in the rapture, that’s where we see who had the right cards.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Patient #3: Son of Sam and Science

  1. Alecksa

    You are the most pretentious fucker. Everything on this blog is so fucking contrived, and you dare to chide others for their purported lack of originality? Well, alrighty then!

  2. Yes, I said those things, and did those things. My chiding was meant to be an example. You’re my new favorite reader because you’re just the kind of person I’m looking for, alecksa. Now, what kind of art student are you?? And why do you sound like my late fiancée?

  3. kelsey

    I admire your bravery in posting this. More so because I’m an art student in college as well and find myself wondering why I’m attending. I’m surrounded by superficial people who only focus on themselves and there’s maybe an exception for one or two people who aren’t. But those few despise the arts as much as you. You said “late fiance” in your last comment, so I’m assuming she’s no longer among us, that could explain your detritus outlook on every thing. you must really loved her, in which case, I think you’re a great writer. Any plans for a book?

  4. Yes, one book in the works. And I’m also working on a dark comedy play production. And my late fiancée isn’t dead. But the girl I fell in love with is. She became a cliche. women marry men think they will change, men marry women thinking they will not. Thank you for your nonchalant words, I suggest you fuck art school and take all the fun classes you want to take. A degree doesn’t do much anymore, so why not have fun?

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