Have you ever had that feeling? You know, that feeling we all feel every now and then. As if everything around you is pitch black and the only thing illuminated is you. Not exactly, but pretty close in comparison to sitting in a parked car while it’s raining outside. Not light rain where you can still make out objects, but rain heavy enough to make it look like you’re going through an automatic carwash. There’s no music playing on the radio, no heavy breathing, just the sound of the water hitting your car, strategically masking the erratic heartbeat inside your chest? It beats to that feeling you get right before you receive bad news. You know there’s news, and you know it’s going to be bad, and you know it’s coming. Have you ever had that feeling? Yeah, well I’ve been having that feeling for the last two days. non-stop flights from my veins to my brains. And I tell ya, this is supposed to be temporary, and after that temporary scare, it’s supposed to make you feel better about the situation at hand. But two straight days, with sleepless nights, it isn’t a good thing. It’s like a hard-on you get from Viagra that lasts over four hours. Please check with your physician.
Now you may want to ask, “Hey Hugh, what’s got you wound up tighter than John Rambo looking for a sandwich?” Well the honest to God answer is that I don’t know. I’m not really sure why I’ve been feeling on edge the last two days. I had a great week last week where everything seemed possible. Then this week, everything that was magnificent seemed just about ready to be recycled. The problem was always impulsive action. That has caused nothing but trouble. However, ooooh however, now i’m philosophically wondering whether the magnificence that happened last week was the impulsive act. We’re hopping off our cloud now, ready to come back to earth. Or maybe last week was magnificent, and this week is the impulse. Public dedication to each other only makes the private dedications to another seem less obvious. (But not if you’ve read my last post.) And no I’m not being irrational and pretentious about the whole situation, I have documents containing irrefutable proof and pictures to prove my point. Yet… That isn’t the part that disturbs me. The part that disturbs me, as I see it, is that I’m left with three less-than-ideal options.
A. Bring it out to the open for wide consultation, as well as confrontation. Hope for things to be resolved. or B. Realize confrontation is impossible because the other party has a wall to hide behind therefore confrontation is pointless. Instead, play hardball and seek vengeance in slow increments to prepare myself for the final defensive position, ultimately coming out with a trump card. or C. Ignore it. Ignore the wrong doings towards me and irrationably implore selfLESSness in this situation because, ironically, this is the happiest I’ve ever been. If my own pride,dignity, and self-worth is the cost for being as happy as I am. (no sarcasm) then I’ll gladly pay it. Today’s world isn’t like the world of the past, there is no happy ending for anyone, If you think otherwise, then you haven’t reached your ending yet. Though the last option may sound shocking, it sounds like it makes the most sense. Just ignore it. And play it safe. If I play nice, they will too… right?