Curse of the Woodpecker

I have a certain dilemma in which causes problems for my daily being. It used to be mistaken for an insecurity, however, after countless situations with irrefutable conclusions, I’ve discovered this dilemma to be a skill. I refer to it as a dilemma because, though an invaluable skill, can cause an influx of peace in regards to my daily personal interactions. This dilemma I speak so highly about is the ability to detect a lie. I am a human lie detector.

How does this skill interfere with my daily interactions, you might be wondering. Well, simple. I’m openly skeptical about things I hear that have a bit of untruth in them. I sense it, and want to disprove it immediately. How am I so certain, you might be wondering. Well I’m an avid reader of body language and vocal tone as well. That particular skill I obtained after years of people watching; malls, markets, events, etc, as research for my acting career. That coupled with a major in psychology doesn’t exactly spell out a happy ending for me. I’d make a great friend to have and to obtain unbiased advice from, and I am a great friend to have and to obtain advice from. Yet, this poses a problem for me and my personal relationships.

The pros; I am completely incapable of having a relationship built on anything less than the truth. Complete honesty and open disclosure.

The cons; It is impossible to lie to me. I’ll let white lies, slide every now and then, but if you plan something and haven’t even told a soul about it. You can bet your bottom dollar that I’ve already theorized that scenario along with several others.

Advice: When you lie, make sure your voice, body language, and timing all correspond. If one of those is off center, I’ll be able to tell.

The problem I’m having most trouble with now is that I’m forced to question myself as a proper and fair human being despite my dilemma. Even though, it means that nothing less than honesty is welcome in my book. Do I have to turn a blind eye when I uncover a lie, if not just to feel normal?  I want to have an honest relationship without lies, but even I know that’s impossible. So does it mean that I have to ignore being lied to? Then act surprised when it’s out in the open? I may be a human lie detector, so I suppose that means I’ll always have more questions than answers.

this sir, is a lemon

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