I understand you now with the utmost certainty. This will become a guide for other innocent souls that get caught in your crossfire. You began to find it increasingly difficult with me because it became difficult for you to lie. Your stories became embellished and your intricate details were highly inaccurate and sometimes fabricated. By definition a lie, along with the frequency, you became a compulsive liar. How about compulsive deceptionist. Utilizing that ability, I believe a career in acting might be possible. Most would find the difficulty in not being able to lie to your partner as an advantage or even a second chance if permitted, but not you, my dear terminal patient. Your tone became passive like the flimsy voice of a child caught red handed, crumbs on cheeks, your words became short and actions were out of character.
I can see through that, yet I turned my cheek. Why? Last night was one of the most pleasant conversations I’ve had with you in recent times. You were lost, confused and falling, and I caught you in midair again, as always. That’s what someone who gives a damn does. But did you deserve it?
Everything’s going to become a hallway for you, even that kitten you hide poorly in your pants. But everyone wants to see and pet it, and you’re quite generous in providing private viewings. I digress. You said it was too many things that kept us from being together? To be safe together? It wasnt. It was just you. I hope you forgive me one day for giving up on you, but that will become a curse of what’s to come. When you find all the doors in your hallway world quietly locking themselves, and you fall through the cracks, as lost as ever, but no one will catch you without a promise of seeing your cat., maybe feeding it. I’ll see you again one day and buy you a cup of coffee. I will see through whatever false smile you have on that pretty face, and know I was a seer in foreshadowing your hollowness.
Your body may be growing sharper, but your mind has lost its edge. Your disorder robbed that from you and isn’t finished. That disease is designed only to take. Not to give. And it’s finally taken me out of the equation.