I’m sitting here wondering what kind of post this is going to be. I usually have a general idea on where my posts are headed. This time, however, is different.
I hope everyone had a nice Valentines Day, I know many of you hate Valentines Day, or perhaps even just the idea of Valentines Day, but the creators didn’t really think of it as a marketable day. It was just one guy or girl who just so happen to be in love, that they proposed a day to celebrate lovers across the globe. As it turns out, it was a very marketable idea. Matter of fact is, there are plenty of people in the world who have nothing against the celebration of being in love. Thats the idea. I celebrate it to, regardless of whether or not i’m in love. Love makes the world go round, and fills living everyday with an even greater purpose. without living with love, then why live at all. that’s like having a starbucks frappuccino without whipcream. You’re already sinning after all, why not take the extra step and enjoy the treat on top?
I had the pleasure of being with my babylove again the last few days. it was heaven-like even if we were so far apart. Yes we’ve had our share of problems, but we were resilient motherfuckers and got through every obstacle that rolled in our path. That’s what people in love do, they get over them together and that shows the strength of their bond. However, sometimes a line must be drawn, you can’t keep compromising and expect everything to be daisies and sunshine. She did something foolish, but this time, She couldn’t forgive herself even though I did, but there are some things that hurt us more than they hurt other people. For every selfish act, there is a consequence, for every selfless act, you already know what the consequences will be. I love her dearly and will never let her blame herself. We do things sometimes that we can’t explain, and sometimes the devil compels us. those faint of heart will succumb, and those of us who are strong, endure.
I have a birthday in a few days. I am not excited. It is utterly pointless to celebrate another year of life without those we love. I’d much rather celebrate the hallmark endorsed Valentines Day. When we got back this time, we knew something was different, we couldn’t tell what it was. And we still can’t. I suppose somewhere along the line, this was the line that had to be drawn, a few days before my birthday. I don’t want to see my birthday. I suppose this is one of those entries. One of those last ones. What does a person feel in this state of mind? What is the correct way to feel? I don’t know, but i want to feel at peace first.
This has been a nice ride, but my plans were foiled before they even got started. Frankly, I find myself thinking of the pointlessness of the upcoming annual celebration. I have two and half more days to change my mind I suppose. But it’s all too heavy on your own. Its time to rest. I hope everyone laughs everyday because that’s the next best thing besides living with love. but even my laughs are fake.