Dance Motherfucker Dance!

The Union of marriage was always such bullshit. I don’t say that out of spite or anger, I’m stating that as a fact i know and believe. You can’t commit yourself to marry someone unless you know they’re the right person, but then again, you’ll never know if they are. Divorce rates are up to about 50%, maybe more. People are getting divorced before they even get married.

I was engaged, but it should have been a clear cut sign when we had to keep it a secret. I never believed in getting married, but not when i was with her. The way she spoke to me made me believe anything was possible, that everything would be fine in the end, and whenever it wasn’t fine, it was never the end. To all my best efforts in keeping the situation from becoming a pretentious dance, that’s what it became.

You can never marry a person who is younger than you. i don’t mean physically, she was younger, but mentally, i was the younger one. (at times.) we were intellectual equals yet i had a habit of always reducing my intellect around others, in order to make them laugh. i was a jester in the court of society, and i was that way with her too. if ever i made a mistake, that was it. I guess i figured it was the best way a mannequin like myself to convey how much i loved her. T.V. and media gave me false intel. (except 24, which is back on FOX, Jack Bauer is da man.)

These past few days, i’ve been in seclusion and forced to deduce everything at an alarming rate. If you’re too stupid to keep up with me, then i can weed you the fuck out, and not waste my time being dumb with you for your giggles. keep up or keep on walking. Alright, that was a little harsh, laughter is like a drug i need. i can’t explain it, but i have a gift to do that. And will continue to do so. The fact is, i should’ve never been a clownbaby with the person i love. i love everyone, but not like i love and needed her. she kept me from going insane while i danced for people. she kept me.

Now, conflictingly, i’m going to a Dim Mak thing tonight and i’m wondering if i should be dancing, i don’t wanna dance, but with an invitation that says, free vodka, I’m gonna dance my ass off. maybe i’ll get a cool dim mak t-shirt for my extraordinary disco skills?

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